I wonder if, when God is watching His plans for us unfold, especially the ones we don't see coming, if He smiles contently and simply waits for us to respond. I imagine a smile, eyes gleaming brighter than supernovas, pure love shooting out in every direction, arms outstretched for the ready. I have to believe that He doesn't find pleasure, necessarily, in our pain, in our being knocked off our feet, and yet it feels as if He wants us to hurt. It's not a new contradictory idea; hurt bringing healing, but we need to be reminded every time it happens, that's for sure. I'd like to experience the hurt, heal, then erase the hurt from my memory so that nothing, even mere memories, can turn me back to that place where I don't want to be. I don't want to remember the life of the Hurt. This being what caused it, all the details and events having anything to do with it, anything that could turn my mind to that darkness. No other name fits it closely enough but that.
I feel the heavy presence of my Father, my God, when I realize that a simple song is a tool He used and is using at this very moment. I heard it for the first time only about a week ago, but it's simple enough that I memorized it, have been playing it constantly, and now it seems I find refuge in it. The lyrics relate to how I feel at this moment, after the Hurt. Because of the power of that song, I make it my prayer for tonight and the rest of my life: that no human being could ever defile the Creation that God has made in me. The Light and the Beauty can never be put out or covered up by human events, or human will. By God alone I have been made, and by God alone I will be remade. Made new. Out of feeling like a speck of dust, I become a Beautiful Thing.
Here's the lyrics:
Beautiful Things by Gungor
All this pain
I wonder if I'll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all
Chorus:
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You
You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
Dear Jessica - DEAR Jessica.... I love you, sweetie. You say it so simply, yet so profoundly. I am bowled over by your heart of compassion, and by the wisdom in your words:
ReplyDelete"Because of the power of that song, I make it my prayer for tonight and the rest of my life: that no human being could ever defile the Creation that God has made in me. The Light and the Beauty can never be put out or covered up by human events, or human will. By God alone I have been made, and by God alone I will be remade. Made new. Out of feeling like a speck of dust, I become a Beautiful Thing."
Hugging YOU!
xxGma
Jessica this is wonderful! You have no idea how thankful I am to have you as a friend, because not only are you amazing and funny, but you have such talent to express these thoughts here on your blog - and they are thoughts that need to be shared. This post is just a blessing and its so uplifting, thank you! God is good, isn't he?
ReplyDelete